ugh. It's January.

What is it about January that sucks everything that you have to give right out of you? What is it about January that makes me feel so devoid of hope, passion, and joy? I feel like one of those buoys out on the ocean, tossed around without any feeling nor thought. I read the Bible, yeah, it is good, what it says is so good, but I can't get my voice past the dry lump in my throat to actually sound passionate. I can laugh at something, but it's this harsh brittle sound, rather than my usual infectious giggle. I can smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. I am going through what I like to call a desert storm. I can have dry times, beautiful refreshing rain times, but once in a while I get caught in this windstorm. You know, the kind of desert storm like they show in the movies, a coughing, stumbling movie actor covered in dust being torn apart by the wind. I feel.n.o.t.h.i.n.g. This sucks. I am usually this vibrant human being, this joyful force of nature. So, my rambly thoughts have come to this. Does God give us these desert storms once in a while just to remind us of how much we have and should be grateful for? Or do we put ourselves in these predicaments, with our self serving humanistic egos, with our selfish, sinful ways? I guess the adage drilled into me as a child still remains (unfortunately) you reap what you sow Julia, you reap what you sow. But what about the good things I've sown? Where are they? For all those wondering I am not sunk into depression. I just feel blahish and that is abnormal. Some opinions would be nice!  :)