I really can't think of a clever title ...

Why do we constantly push ourselves for more?
Why, oh why, can't we just be?

What is so wrong, with being wrong?
And why can't I wipe the smirk off my face when I am right?

Why do we get such vindication from bringing others down?
Why is it that doing a good deed seems so much harder than simply not?

Why can't I be like Jesus, loving others for who they are, not what they are?
Why, oh why, can't I see past the planks in my own eyes?

Why do I wish to be like that person, and that one, oh and don't forget her ... and her?
Why can't I be happy with just me?

Is it society that makes me be me?
Is it God that makes me be me?

Or is it free will that makes me be me?
Or is it simply me that makes me be me?

I think that perhaps I think to much, however
I think that all of the above matches with a regular human being.

Or is it all just simply Stephen Harper's fault?
Oh wait, sorry I forgot, I was trying to be all deep here, and then that thought stole into my brain ... or did he plant it there? After all he is an evil mastermind trying to take over the world, and we should all watch out because ol' Stepho over there on Parliament Hill is looking to screw Canadians.

Grow up people.
Stephen Harper is human, just like the rest of us.
(even if he is constantly smirking because he thinks he is right)
And just because I do not agree with what he is doing, does not mean that my new goal in life is to bash the man into the ground.
(Even though it will bring me a large sense of vindication)

And please, lets just face it. If Stephen Harper manages to grow a beard like Jesus', he has mad, mad skills.

OK, I am tired. My thoughts are becoming no longer intelligent. Goodnight all.

Crap! I think my brain is failing me ...

Sometimes I wonder, really wonder how my words don't come out sounding like this :

shiuht9hoawrhfouqhafkabfkjhasdfhkasjfhas;lhgalkhgfjakhbfajskbdaskjbgfajdbgfvajkbhfwe; lajsnfdhasljkfnhalb. I mean really. My brain is so full of CRAP that I don't even know where to begin half the time, and then man, if you catch me when I'm tired, good luck translating anything I say into the human language. I only wish the people who think that I'm this scatter brained, fluffy headed person could see into my brain. Because then, and only then, will they realize that really, scatter brained does not describe me. Most of the time I have too many.damn.things.on.my.brain and I can't come up with a coherent sentence to describe it all. So, basically this post is to remind you all why I write on this blog. I write because it is a vain attempt to spew some of my thoughts on the screen, in the hope that my actually intelligent, well read brain could get some rest by lightening the load for a little while ... until I think about why I am lightening the load and this whole process starts all over again. Good Grief. OK. Shutting up now! Just letting you know I'm still here! Finals are here too, which is why I am hyped up on coffee and studying my ass off! Good luck to the rest of you with finals! So long! OK, really I am done now ...

This is officially my lamest blog post ever. 

© Julia Bethany

ugh. It's January.

What is it about January that sucks everything that you have to give right out of you? What is it about January that makes me feel so devoid of hope, passion, and joy? I feel like one of those buoys out on the ocean, tossed around without any feeling nor thought. I read the Bible, yeah, it is good, what it says is so good, but I can't get my voice past the dry lump in my throat to actually sound passionate. I can laugh at something, but it's this harsh brittle sound, rather than my usual infectious giggle. I can smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. I am going through what I like to call a desert storm. I can have dry times, beautiful refreshing rain times, but once in a while I get caught in this windstorm. You know, the kind of desert storm like they show in the movies, a coughing, stumbling movie actor covered in dust being torn apart by the wind. I feel.n.o.t.h.i.n.g. This sucks. I am usually this vibrant human being, this joyful force of nature. So, my rambly thoughts have come to this. Does God give us these desert storms once in a while just to remind us of how much we have and should be grateful for? Or do we put ourselves in these predicaments, with our self serving humanistic egos, with our selfish, sinful ways? I guess the adage drilled into me as a child still remains (unfortunately) you reap what you sow Julia, you reap what you sow. But what about the good things I've sown? Where are they? For all those wondering I am not sunk into depression. I just feel blahish and that is abnormal. Some opinions would be nice!  :)

huh

I feel weird lately. Not as in sick weird. But the weird weird i get when I feel that people are simply putting up with me. of course its not true, its something manufactured to make me feel its true and therefore depressed. Weird how the mind and heart work together to make this massive contradiction in one's body. oh well. goodnight all.